Of cold water and crumbling self-esteem

Silence. It permeates the very air, it penetrates the brick and mortar walls of this isolated college, far from humanity, far from civilisation. Loneliness stabs the mortal heart, pierces it with the screaming agony of realisation of reality.

Everybody’s gone. Everybody. Where have they gone?

Pardon the emo-ish intro. I wanted to try my hand at writing quality prose so this is a good practice.

As to the introduction, the silence part was very much a truth. India-bound students get to go back to their homes on account of the holiday (mid-semester break) while the 1 year programme students don’t have such priviledges. Again, its one of the long list of disadvantages of being in the 1-year programme. Its not that I complain though. Reality sucks and it can whack you in the head, running away and laugh mockingly at times. The college is now more than half-empty. The silence pierces everything. It used to be quite noisy even up till midnight because the cafe is right in front of my apartment, so the noise can easily reach up to the 2nd floor. Now its only 8.50 p.m. and there’s not a single sound of laughter/jeer/noise/whatever.

Plus, its Hungry Ghost Festival. OmGwTfBbQ.

Speaking of which, yesterday and today our test papers were handed back to us. What came as a surprise was the fact that I totally failed Chemistry. I was putting high hopes on it, but it turned out that I did lots of silly and stupid careless mistakes. WtF.. I THINK I flunked it, what with the college’s passing mark being 76 and above if I’m not mistaken. Freakin’ 76, what, does the college think we’re freakin’ robots that are designed to get bloody 120 marks for the first ever test? Then again, its good for us. Pretty effective shock therapy, I’d say. On second thought, shit la. I was aghast. Impossible! Chemistry was one of my best subjects. To flunk it does wonders for one’s self esteem, the situation of which is worsened by the fact that I’m constantly surrounded by antisocial robots who eats books for breakfast. o.O

Luckily I scored 92 for Biology. It didn’t help my self-esteem though, highest mark was 96. Plus, lots of people scored more than 90 (which is grade A according to the college’s standard).

Major boo-hoo.

I feel numbed from the constant reminders the lecturers hurl at us. Top of the list: don’t fool around. Focus. Don’t fool around. Do the past year papers. Don’t play play. Do lots of practise. Don’t lose focus. Don’t find trouble. Don’t play. Don’t shit, don’t eat, don’t crap, don’t breathe. Don’t don’t don’t.

Oh, Mr. Zaini did wonders for my whole class’s self esteem by making a remark which left us gasping for breath and some even fainted:

“Your class’s Physics is hopeless.”

oMgWtFbBq.. o.O .. T.T

No hope. Sickening. Vomit blood. I literally heard the earth-shattering noise of crumbling confidence then.

LOL 8DDDDDD I’m doomed. Wahahahahahhaahahhahahahahhahahahha….

And I’m out of me mind. Macam taik!.. T.T

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